Kudzu Stories

Ernie Names His Chicken

Dear Aunt Mable,

Well I tried to give this chicken to some daycare places, but they didn’t want it. And so I decided if I was going to have to keep it I should give it a name. I thought about calling it Whitey, because it’s mostly white, but a friend said I should call it Tyson, I guess because of that boxer. So I have named it Tyson. And guess what? It can jump up on the kitchen table!!! I feed it Cheerios and dried corn – I read a story once about Little Chick’s Breakfast, where the little Chicken loved to eat dried corn, so I tried it – well, the chicken tried it, I didn’t – and the chicken ate it!! So now I give it Cheerio’s and dried corn and ometimes still some English peas. And it has a pan right up on the table with me!! But I always put a box between the chicken and my plate, so it won’t shit in my plate again. I guess the chicken is getting used to me, because it still stays in the bathroom at night, but it has stopped flying at me and trying to peck me and bite me. But it did fall in the toilet one night and couldn’t get out, and I found it when I went in to pee. I decided to take a shower before I went back to bed, because everything got wet with water from the toilet.


(Confused? Here’s Part 1)